Well 2008 has come and gone and with it another year full of surprises, “change” and songs that just absolutely sucked ass. Of course being the busy college student you are, you probably don’t have the precious time to wade through the sludge and muck of mainstream music to find the worst songs of 2008.  So being a website for the students and by the students we here at iloveuab.com have made a list up for you. So sit back, relax and get some ear plugs cause the 5 WORST songs of 2008 are coming at ya!

5. Metro Station- Shake It. In this strange post-modern society we live in people glorify the young and the innocent. Maybe that is why people have taken so well to Hannah Montana or maybe it’s just cause there is a bigger market for girls who get a petafile going than we all originally thought. I don’t claim to be Al Gore and know everything so I just figure people like her cause she’s innocent (ok and she is kinda cute) but apparently there is a point where you can get so damn famous that even your relatives can feed off you fame. That is just what has happened with Trace Cyrus, brother of Miley Cyrus (who is Hannah Montana if you didn’t know).
I put this band on this list because take away the absolute moronic lyrics and just listen to the band and you get a good idea of what you would sound like if you strapped battery cables to your nuts.
But swollen sacks aside then band really made their impression with their deep and moving lyrics-

Your lips tremble but your eyes are in a straight stare (straight stare)
We’re on the bed but your clothes are laying right there
Did they think it was clever to say they were having sex without actually saying it? And seriously listen to the song the bland guitar and and worthless repetition of “Shake it” 1000x times remind us that there is only room for one Cyrus in this world of pop and glam (apparently).

4. All Summer Long- Kid Rock. “Cause we were trying different things and we were smoking funny things…” Thank you Kid Rock. For so long I have wanted a song about smoking dope and having sex; now I have something to nod my head too.  But seriously what really set this song apart (and helped it make this list) is it’s sample of Sweet Home Alabama and Werewolves in London.  Did a guy from some crap trailer park in the Motor City really sample the “theme” song of the great state of Alabama? [sarcasm font]Come on Kid Rock I knew you were original when you wrote Bah-wit-da-bow but were you really so desperate for a hit that you had to sample not one  but TWO songs? I guess Kid rock is no Akon and the trailer trash sold records and has way more money than I do so I guess when you don’t have a number one hit for a few years you have to start reaching…
Now I know a lot of you are thinking CJ this song isn’t so bad. In fact it’s pretty catchy…
That’s exactly what I am talking about! Listen to this song ONCE and you will be humming this damn song the rest of the live long day.

3. Let it Rock- Kevin Rudolph ft. Lil Wayne. In 2008 Lil Wayne was a busy little fellow seemingly making thousands of collaborations with any and all artists he could get in the studio for five minutes. This song makes the list for a few reasons-
1. By far Lil Wayne’s weakest performance of the year. With his biggest year EVER the Son of Birdman took hold of the charts and took the #1 spot this year with his hit Lollipop.  The rhyming and lyrics at the end of the song show that maybe Rudolph had a little dirt on Weezy and blackmailed him into getting on his track. Although weak lyrically Weezy showed his gift for hits by making the song work and getting the song to the top of the charts.
2. Just listen to the song more than once you’ll be so sick of the same random beat and rhythm you’ll want to take a Red Flyer wagon, sit it at the edge of a cliff, and Let it Rock.
(Clever I know)

2. Sorry- Buckcherry. Ok before we get into this keep in mind this is the band that sang Crazy Bitch. An ode to psycho nymphos all over the world. Crazy Bitch vaulted Buckcherry to fame and fortune because apparently having one mediocre, generic rock band *coughhindercough* wasn’t enough.  Sorry is at it’s core just what it’s title states; a sorry mediocre love ballad where the singer half-heartily apologizes for something (maybe calling his girlfriend a Crazy Bitch? I don’t know, just sayin) that seems to have pissed his girl off and kept her out of his bed. Maybe it’s lead singer Josh Todd’s whining and groaning about his girl being pissed at him.
Josh please keep away from these “sorry” ballads. We already have an Every Rose Has it’s Thorn and lets be honest we only need one of those every century.

1. Womanizer- Britney Spears. And lastly a woman who needs no introduction Ms. Britney Spears.  As every pop culture show has shown us multiple times Britney Spears has had an up and down life since her hits in the late 90’s. From driving with her baby in her arms, getting married and divorced in one day and then shaving her head Spears seems more like a women who would fit into the Crazy Bitch song by Buckcherry then someone who is taking a stand against men who “womanize.” But nevertheless Spears is back in the limelight ruining our radios and lowering our I.Q. with such in depth songs about guys who womanize.
I swear I thought Shake It was repetitive…How many times can she say womanizer??? I feel like I am in a grammar meeting with the way this song is.
Ok children today we are going to learn the proper use of womanizer. You womanize, I womanize, they womanize, he, she, it womanizes. For gods sake! You’ve earned your millions of dollars now GO THE HELL AWAY!!! How the hell did this song get so popular…I’m sure the video had a little something to do with it…

That’s my list of the worst songs of 2008 and I’m sticking to it.

CJ out.

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